January 27, 2004

Poem

Admitting you have a problem is the
first step toward getting medicated for it.

(Jim Evarts) @ ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 08:28 PM | TrackBack

January 21, 2004

Poem

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, now
I'm just your punching bag.

(Doug Sykes) @ ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 09:46 PM | TrackBack

January 18, 2004

The Three Stages of Cheese

According to Ron, there are three types of cheese:

1) Toe cheese. You might find toe cheese between your toes or smeared underneath a table. Remember, just because you find it under a table doesn't mean it didn't originally come from between somebody's toes.

2) Stinky cheese. This stuff tastes really good, but smells really bad. Causes problems the next day.. see "swamp ass".

3) Goat cheese. The cheese from goat nipples.

Most cheese types are FDA approved (excluding toe cheese)

Posted by Ron at 08:07 PM

January 16, 2004

Poem

Shrink-to-fit jeans are a great idea
on paper. But unfortunately, my
grow-to-fit ass works faster than they do.

(Scott E. Frank) @ ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 02:44 AM | TrackBack

January 05, 2004

Get Me To The Church On Time

Sunset Hills, Missouri: January 5, 2004

A man who disrupted services at a suburban St. Louis church Sunday after claiming he was Jesus later drove a car into the building's lobby doors, witnesses and police said. No one was injured.

Life Christian Center pastor Rick Shelton told St. Louis' KSDK-TV that a man walked into the church during the morning service and claimed he was Jesus before being led out by ushers. The man was later identified as certified looney N8. As ushers waited for police, Shelton said, the man got into his car and drove into the church's front doors.

Police said in a statement that the crash occurred after N8 was denied access to the pastor.

The St. Louis bomb-and-arson squad responded after a package deemed suspicious was found inside the car. That package turned out to be a harmless piece of Gouda cheese, police said.

Messages left at the church Sunday night were not immediately returned.

N8 was initially arrested, police said, though the status of any charges were not immediately clear. He was later released and all charges were dropped at the behest of the pastor who cited the virtue of forgiveness as his motive.

Posted by Webmaster at 10:42 PM | TrackBack

January 04, 2004

Poem

I have an idea for a new reality television show
called "Cannibal Island." Each week, one player
will be eaten by the others until only one is left.
The real beauty of this idea is that the cast
won't be around to do an annoying reunion show.

Steve Nathans @ Ruminate.com

Posted by Webmaster at 10:36 PM | TrackBack