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Ron Feeds
February 22, 2024
In It To Win It
Jersey City, New Jersey, February 22, 2024:
In a defiant act that surprised no one important, Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron announced that he is "staying in the 2024 Presidential race."
"I ain't goin' nowhere," said Ron in a snarling tone. Running mate Brad stood behind him at a makeshift podium in an unkempt yard strewn with Camaro parts.
"Let the other dominoes fall around me while I make moves that would impress any red-headed woman who's looking to date," Ron continued. "Biden, Trump, and Kennedy are jokers and chokers...[I'm] the real McCoy, but my name is Ron."
Little to no applause could be heard after Ron's statements.