The Ron Apple Experiments Day 64 - March 12, 2001

It is several weeks since our last report . Our focus remains upon the Evil Ron Pear. He is now a deformed blob of dark matter hardly resembling his former self. Macintosh Ron and Yellow Delicious Ron appear much the same as before. Their wrinkles are now firm, and they are very light.

This picture to the left shows how much the Ron Pear resembles a Satanic symbol. What does all this mean? Is it possible that the dark energies from the day of evil manifested themselves into the Ron Pear?

Karl Seeler, one of Ron's former professors and mentors, explains:
"Without Evil, Good Ron cannot exist. Likewise, without Good Ron, Evil Ron cannot exist. To analyze this, we must treat Ron as a free body diagram.

"Inside our experiment, we have 2 Ron apples representing the good Ron and one representing evil Ron. Conservation of energy dictates that the evil Ron exerts a force (of evil) equal to the combined forces of good of the other two plus any other outside influential factors."

"We must define equations representing how good and evil pertain to Ron, and balance them. Only then can we determine truly what is happening. Right now there are too many unknowns."

And so the experiments continue. We will continue to consult with our ever growing staff of professionals to solve the great mystery which is Ron.

Posted by Ron at March 12, 2001 10:16 PM

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