The Ron Apple Experiments Day 900 - June 17, 2003


A good 212 days have passed since our last Ron Apple Experiment update. The Finlandish scientists sent the Ron apples back to the states for an important phase in experimentation - what happens when you join the Ron Apples with a Mr. T Chia Pet? And what the hell happened to Dr Tracticus Philosophicus Logicus from Finland's profound discoveries?


I'm not allowed to disclose too much information, but Dr Tracticus Logicus Philosophicus called me in the middle of the night to express to me the utter urgency of this phase of experimentation - and today I received the Ron Apples and the Mr. T Chia Pet package in my mailbox. Apparently the relative humidity and barometric pressure of my apartment are crucial to this phase. As you can see above, this particular Chia is the ultimate in Chia Pet evolution. (You can get your own Mr. T Chia Pet here)


The instructions state that I must soak the head in water for 24 hours. Logically, I substituted Finlandia vodka for water in this one. The good doctor told me implicitly how important this was - not to use any of the fruity flavored variations, lest the experiment go to total ruin. I suppressed the urge the drink the Finlandia and poured it into the Tupperware vat.


Following the instructions to a "T", I mixed the Chia seeds with a 1/4 cup of the "Smooth Beamer" to ferment for 24 hours. We're on the verge of great discovery here, people.. I can feel it. Our cumulative efforts will not be made in vain! 


Lastly, the most dehydrated of all the Ron Apples, the notorious Ron Pear, joined the 24 hour soaking in preparation for the next phase. That's right, the Ron Pear will be sporting the Beamer soaked Chia spores along with Mr. T! I'm not sure what Dr Tracticus Logicus Philosophicus has in mind, but the anticipation of it all staggers the mind. Stay tuned!

Posted by Ron at June 17, 2003 10:41 PM

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