The Ron apple experiments are a continuation of an original experiment started in 1993 which was aimed towards finding how Ron will look once he is old and shriveled. Political rivals stole the original specimen and the results are still unfound. Several Ron apples will be formed from different types and meticulously observed to discover new and exciting truths about the universe around us. We are on the cutting edge of technological scientific discovery here, folks.

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The Ron Apple Experiments Day 10 - January 18, 2001

For the first time ever, the crappy digital camera captured the true colors of the Ron apples. They spent 24 hours in the freezer with miraculous results. Yellow Delicious Ron and Macintosh Ron came out with a thin layer of frost. Ron Pear, however, turned a dark brown. His skin is almost the same color as his hair. The Ron Pear is losing molecular integrity. He's soft, wet, and squishy after the thaw. Just a few days ago, he was proving himself the dominant male. Now, any fall might bruise him severely. The dent on his forehead is an...
Posted by Ron at January 18, 2001

The Ron Apple Experiments Day 14 - January 22, 2001

It has been a grueling weekend for the Ron Pear. Shortly after his emergence from the freezer, he could not stand on his own toothpicks. I had to lie him down on his side which caused his head to split open and ooze a clear-like fluid on the ground. He has spent the last couple of days resting on a Bounty towelette. The Ron Pear's skin is beginning to regain its rigidity. His insides remain squishy. I think that in time, he will make a complete recovery. We did learn that Ron becomes an African American when going out...
Posted by Ron at January 22, 2001

The Ron Apple Experiments Day 24 - February 1, 2001

Many of you have been writing in asking what has become of the Ron Pear.  As you can see, he is still quite sickly. He is approaching acceptable "less-squishy" levels. Nevertheless, Ron Pear has assumed the triangular shape. He has a flat forehead, backhead, and a puss nodule beside his right eye. What does this tell us besides "Ron is not a square"? Does this mean that Ron shouldn't go outside in the winter after taking a shower? No, it is not quite that simple. Notice that 2 out of 3 Rons came out of the harsh conditions unscathed. Gilbert...
Posted by Ron at February 1, 2001

The Ron Apple Experiments Day 64 - March 12, 2001

It is several weeks since our last report . Our focus remains upon the Evil Ron Pear. He is now a deformed blob of dark matter hardly resembling his former self. Macintosh Ron and Yellow Delicious Ron appear much the same as before. Their wrinkles are now firm, and they are very light. This picture to the left shows how much the Ron Pear resembles a Satanic symbol. What does all this mean? Is it possible that the dark energies from the day of evil manifested themselves into the Ron Pear? Karl Seeler, one of Ron's former professors and...
Posted by Ron at March 12, 2001
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