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Don't you wish you had one of these when you were a kid?
Ron Feeds
The Ron apple experiments are a continuation of an original experiment started in 1993 which was aimed towards finding how Ron will look once he is old and shriveled. Political rivals stole the original specimen and the results are still unfound.
Several Ron apples will be formed from different types and meticulously observed to discover new and exciting truths about the universe around us. We are on the cutting edge of technological scientific discovery here, folks.
The Ron Apple Experiments Day 94 - April 11, 2001
As you can see, our technology has improved. Thanks to a generous donation from Captain Lou Albano. Our yellow delicous Ron remains the youngest looking of all our experiments. Some say that this apple looks like Brad with a mustache. Could this be one of the missing links in our experiments? Ron macintosh can be seen in all his immaculate beauty here. Note the distinguished wrinkles. Looks a bit like Reagan, doesn't he? Ron insists that he is a vast improvement over Reagan, although he agrees with his support of George Lucas's films. When brightly illuminated, we can truly...
Posted by Ron's Dentist at April 11, 2001
The Ron Apple Experiments Day 143 - May 30, 2001
Since Ron's entire political career began with a night of binge drinking, it was only logical to bring them together with a pair of Ron's biggest heros, Bob and Doug McKenzie. What exactly does this particular experiment show us? Here's Joey Buttafuoco to explain: I don't think that putting the Ron apples next to some plastic Bob and Dougs is going to prove much of anything. It sure does look pretty, though. What we really need to do is get somebody who's really really smart really really drunk. Then we can find out what's really going on. Did you...
Posted by Ron at May 3, 2001
The Ron Apple Experiments Day 235 - August 30, 2001
Today's experiment involved putting the Ron Apples next to a blue monster, a grey kitty cat and a red fish. Results were unstaggering. To liven up the situation, we invited Britney over. You will be astounded by the results... Ahhh.. much better. Sure her music sucks, but the Ron Apples seem to be much happier (especially the Ron Pear who got to cop a feel on the right hooter). Al Jourgenson of Ministry explains: Although I fully endorse Ron as our ideal presidential candidate, I do not approve of this ditsy skank hanging out with his effigies. It gives...
Posted by Ron at August 30, 2001
The Ron Apple Experiments Day 323 - November 26, 2001
Today we took a wild turn in the experiments and paired the Ron Apple and Macintosh Ron with the infamous "Glass Eye Cup". Everybody's gotta have one! The possibilities are endless, since you can use it for your glass eye.. AND it's made out of glass. Naturally, the glass eye cup can be used as a shot glass so that you can ingest the booze through your hollow eye socket. No kit is complete without a "Little Noses" nasal whiskey inhaler. Here's some expert opinions from HillyBilly Jim who will explain exactly what we learned from today's experiment: "I...
Posted by Ron at November 26, 2001