Pack a Lunch Fit for Ron

June 5, 2012: Brad often asks Ron if his mustache is indeed a "flavor savor" after a meal. Typically, Ron dismisses such asinine remarks and goes about his day. But food trapped in a mustache has inspired a product that Ron has put his stamp of approval on: Lunch Disguise Sandwich Bags. These uniquely designed sandwich bags honor the mustache's historical and obvious pairing with food. Ron loves them. He endorses them. He packs his PB&J in them. He expects you to do the same. Buy them. Use them. Buy more of them. (Ron has a stock in the...

Ron Custom Cars

December 14, 2016: A friend in Arizona told me of a custom car specialist who creates cartoonish dream vehicles for show and sale. I asked what his name was. My friend said, "Ron... And he has this incredible mustache." Well, I almost dropped the twin babies I was holding. Was my so-called friend telling me Ron -- my Ron...the nation's Ron -- had moved out of New Jersey to [gasp] Arizona?! This was improbable, but not impossible. No confirmed Ron sightings have been reported since early November. Could Ron's mustache and penchant for restoring old cars, like his famed...

Ron's Bait

Ron's Body Shop

Ogden, Utah...

Ron-A-Roll

Ronzoni

Stachifier

June 20, 2014: You met a person. Let's say it was a woman. You were drunk. She looked good to go. You hooked up. She took you to her place. Things got kinky. You didn't bother to wear a condom. You woke up and slipped away before dawn. You got home. You showered. You patted yourself on the back and forgot about it after telling the story to your buddies. Nine months later there's a phone call. "A blood test? For what!?! Who's calling? How'd you get my number? Oh, the police..." It happened. You're a father. You have...

adidas Limited Edition Barricade 2016 Mustachio Shoe

November 21, 2016: According to Ron, it's time for you -- the man -- to buy the manliest tennis shoe ever created by adidas! Celebrate Ron and Movember with the limited edition Mustachio! This Limited Edition Barricade 2016 celebrates that special time of the year when we let our flavor savers sprout to help raise awareness for men's health plus support Ronatarian candidate Ron in his political endeavors. A full grain leather upper highlights the "barber shop"-inspired look, complete with a mustache embroidered right into the front of the tongue. Celebrate those beautiful lip rugs and stay classy in...