December 14, 2016:
A friend in Arizona told me of a custom car specialist who creates cartoonish dream vehicles for show and sale.
I asked what his name was. My friend said, "Ron... And he has this incredible mustache."
Well, I almost dropped the twin babies I was holding.
Was my so-called friend telling me Ron -- my Ron...the nation's Ron -- had moved out of New Jersey to [gasp] Arizona?!
This was improbable, but not impossible. No confirmed Ron sightings have been reported since early November.
Could Ron's mustache and penchant for restoring old cars, like his famed Camaro, have drawn him far from his fan and voting base? Who willingly moves to the American Southwest?!
I investigated and, to my delight, recognized the old fart in Arizona as Ron Berry. Berry is definitely a Ron wanna-be in all regards. I mean, Ron would never put a 2275 cc engine in a VW bus. That's ridiculous.
But, Ron would definitely put a mustache logo like the one Berry uses as his emblem on cars he builds.
So don't you believe that this Ron Berry guy is Ron. But trust in his love of cars and mustaches. He's more like Ron than you think.
Posted by Bittle at December 14, 2016 02:25 PM