Amityville Horror Picture Show

Amityville, NY: October 31, 2000

George W. Bush and comedian Jay Leno both poked fun Monday at the Ronatarian Party candidate. And the Republican presidential candidate even donned a Brad Pope Halloween mask for added laughs.

NBC's "The Tonight Show'' opened with a sequence in which the show's host was about to light a candle in a big Halloween jack-o-lantern.

"You can't do that yet,'' Bush said. He then produced a black marker and painted a large, grotesque mustache above the pumpkin's carved mouth. "Now you can burn it in eulogy."

"I think the word you want, governor, is effigy,'' Leno corrected, joking at Bush's tendency to fracture syntax and mispronounce words.

Bush stubbornly stuck with his perceived mispronunciation and said, "No, I said eulogy and I meant eulogy. A eulogy comes with a funeral. Ron's campaign is dead."

"He said what!?!" Ron exclaimed at a finger painting exhibition in upstate New York. "My campaign is alive and well, thank you."

Bush also brought along a prop in the tradition of Leno's feature in which he reads funny newspaper headlines and wedding announcements.

"I got a little headline of my own here,'' Bush said, displaying a pretend copy of next week's November 8 edition of the Los Angeles Times. The banner headline read: "RON WINS".

Both Bush and Leno rolled in hysterics and prompted the crowd to hoot and yell demeaning (uncensored) slogans about Ron.

"That bottom-feeding rat bastard will not get away with this one!" yelled Ron to a now startled group of school children whose artwork was being displayed. "And where does Leno get off doing this? You could land a small aircraft on his chin."

At one point during the taping, Leno, noting that Halloween is Tuesday, reached beneath his desk and put on a Joe Lieberman mask.

"That's scary, but this is more scary,'' Bush said, donning a Brad mask.

Again, both men laughed heartily and took pot shots at Ron and Brad.

Leno asked what Bush's mother, former first lady Barbara Bush, would say was the most embarrassing incident that occurred while he was growing up.

Bush deflected the question and instead belittled Ron's Camaro. "What a hunk of junk! I drive a Porsche. He drives an out-dated muscle car... probably with fuzzy dice on the mirror," he quipped. "And that Brad...what an ass."

"That is classless," answered Ron to this quotation. "Everybody knows that my tour van was sabotaged not more than two weeks ago. (See "Oh the Humanity") To make light of an assassination attempt is uncalled for. Also, making jokes at Brad's expense is pushing the limits of what I can tolerate. Bush is pond scum."

Bush appeared on the show during a two-day West Coast campaign swing. It was the latest in a series of appearances both candidates have made on nationally televised entertainment programs.

Vice President Al Gore is set to appear on the same program Tuesday night.

"Let's hope that the Vice President can hold himself in check," concluded Ron to the dissipating crowd of youngsters and media members. "Otherwise, I cannot be held responsible for my actions."

Posted by Webmaster at October 31, 2000 08:02 PM

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