Ron Loses!

Ron is sad Ron held out until the bitter end thinking the media was just covering up all the states that he should have won.

"Not even New Jersey voted for me," Ron proclaimed as he smashed an empty Heinekin bottle on the floor, "and I place the blame squarely on the f---ing media!"

"Surely, Ron would have made a great impression on the American public if only they knew he existed," Ronatarian Vice President candidate Brad stated, "we're firing Steve Bittle as our publicist. He did absolutely nothing for our campaign." Bittle was unavailable for comment.

After Ron's loss, he was enraged enough to accept a steel cage match from Mike Tyson at a shady topless bar in Manhattan. Ron seemed quite battered from the match, including a missing bite-like mark taken out of his mustache. See Ron vs. Tyson for details.

So what does the future hold for the Ronatarian Party? According to Brad, the campaigning will not end here. "This time we'll have more time to plan and do things right. We only had 7 months while those bastards Bush and Gore had all the time they wanted.

"As the Ronatarian Party continues to grow, we're going to get recognized and we will win this next time around. You can put that in your crack pipe and smoke it!"

Posted by Ron at November 8, 2000 03:46 AM

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