Screwy In St. Louie

October 17, 2000: St. Louis, MO

Local supporters of the Ronatarian Party presidential ticket joined forces with their colleagues from across Missouri to protest the exclusion of their presidential candidate, Ron, from the debate held at Washington College in St. Louis.

Ron commented, "People are getting angrier about the arrogance of the two major parties. Who do they think they are? Puff Daddy!?!"

According to Ron, he has drawn the biggest and best crowds of any candidate -- 400 in Andover last month and 10-12 in London last Saturday. "The corporate-backed parties must not be allowed to silence a candidate favored by scores of progressive voters," declared Ron to his supporters gathered outside the debate center.

A statewide caravan of Ron supporters and volunteers -- also known as the "Ron Roadies" -- got its start in Independence, Missouri and drove West to Kansas City. Re-reading the map and realizing their error, the group turned around and headed East on I-70 to St. Louis. The rag-tag convoy of dilapidated old VWs stopped for support rallies and Slim Jims periodically along the way.

At each city along the route, pro-Ron rallies called attention to the exclusionary tactics of the two-party system and the evils of Chia Pets.

Finally in St. Louis, the Ron supporters joined a mass rally outside of the corporate-sponsored debate, which only included Republican fat cat George Bush and Democratic stray cat Al Gore.

The televised debate was ironically sponsored by the Anheuser-Busch Brewing Company. Feeling a special connection to Anheuser-Busch from his now famous Ronatarian Party creation pub crawl (See article "Ronatarian National Convention"), Ron was dismayed he is being left off the ticket.

"I guess the hangover continues," he was overheard muttering to Brad while an open mic picked up every word. "Bush and Gore are a--holes."

Posted by Webmaster at October 17, 2000 07:42 PM

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