Ron on American Indians

redskin
Geronimo. Pocahontas. Chief Jay Strongbow. Sitting Bull. Sacagawea. Tonto. Crazy Horse. That Indian who cried at all of the litter on TV in the 1970s. All of these Native Americans evoke a stirring image of tradition and folklore. Ron wants to embrace that imagery. But Ron does not want the modern American Indian to gamble and drink his life away in scattered backwater communities. These once "noble savages" should assimilate to the modern American (i.e. corporate) culture like everyone else. John Marshall enunciated in 1832 (Worcester vs. Georgia) that an Indian tribe was a political body with powers of self-government. Since that time, the U.S. Supreme Court has held that tribes have self-governing powers except when these powers have been modified or repealed by act of Congress or by treaty. Ron finds this ideal woefully out-dated. "No more free rides!" Ron avowed at a charity fair for homeless unwed mothers. "Let's put 'em all in one place and show 'em what it's like to be a true American!" Ron admits that he has been studying some Australian history and is quite taken with the methods used by the Aussies to integrate the Aborigines into the culture Down Under.

To sum it all up, here are the lyrics to the song "Indians" by King Missile:

The Indians lived all over this land before we came and killed them.
That was very bad of us.
We thought we needed the land,
But for the most part,
We just ruined it anyway,
And now, nobody can use it.
That's the way we are.
We're pigs.

One of my favorite foods to eat is called corn.
The Indians call it "maize."
We call the Indians "Indians."
This is because Columbus thought he was in India
When he first came to this land.
Some people say we should call the Indians, "Native Americans,"
'Cause they were here in America before us,
But before us,
This land wasn't called "America."
It was named "America" by a mapmaker who never even came here.
He just lived in Europe
And made maps and when he found out about this land,
And put his name on it,
'Cause he could.
That's the way we are.
We're pigs.

As I was writing this,
A cockroach fell from the sky and onto the table.
I killed it,
'Cause I did.
That's the way I am.
This doesn't really have very much to do with the Indians, though.
I guess I got kind of sidetracked.
Anyway, I hope you see my point.

Posted by Webmaster at September 28, 2000 05:43 PM

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