Ron on Democrats and Republicans

Every year both the Democrats and the Republicans become a worse option to Americans. The two parties are converging more and more into a huge, vested-interest conglomerate and are turning their backs on very important needs of the people. Therefore, we, the Ronatarian Party, are appealing to conservatives, liberals, radicals, junkies, losers, hosers, hookers, dweebs, dorks, chumps, jocks, hackers, slackers, professionals, amateurs, midgets, Zamkoffs, women, cartoonists, side-show freaks, and all of the other people who feel they are losing their political say in this country. Ron has taken it upon himself to be the "Voice of the Disenfranchised", or "VD", in this election. Ron's VD will be like a rash on the genitals of those Washington fat-cats. His personage will ooze like puss from the sores known as the disenchanted United States public. His contagious words will soon spread across the lips of those who are not careful like small warts. In fact, Ron was heard saying at a monster truck pull in Nashville, "My VD will be tougher to shake than a foster baby in a family courtroom." Ron will instigate the changes necessary in this great land by creating a true, multi-party political system. Ron didn't laugh when he said to Dr. Joyce Brothers, "A funny thing is happening in America. Every time one of the major parties wins, it says it is because it took the other's issues away. And then when it loses, it argues that it is because it is not appealing to the opposition's voters. We at the Ronatarian Party want them to say they lost because of a horrible case of Ron's VD."

Posted by Webmaster at September 26, 2000 05:30 PM

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