Ron on Children and Youth Issues

"I believe the children are our future/Teach them well and let them lead the way/Show them all the beauty they possess inside/Give them a sense of pride/To make it easier/Let the children's laughter/Remind us how we used to be." These are the words of Whitney Houston's The Greatest Love. If Ron could hold a tune, he would definitely not be singing this song. While bleeding-hearts and child welfare supporters may buy into this crap, Ron is wary of the youth of America. He knows that their skateboarding and Pokemon-doting ways will yield nothing but headaches and boy bands for...

Ron on Corporations

"I want to be President for a very simple reason: the chicks," Ron said to the pro-feminist group Girls with Guns. "But, I also want to create a progressive movement that challenges the concentration of power and wealth in the hands of global corporations who dominate our government, our workplace, our environment, and our sports arenas...Where the hell is Conseco Field anyway?" Small businesses are the backbone of this great nation. As President, Ron will work to strengthen and create new opportunities for small businesses and entrepreneurs. With his radical new plan CUNT -- Corporations Under the Nation's Thumb --...

Ron on Democrats and Republicans

Every year both the Democrats and the Republicans become a worse option to Americans. The two parties are converging more and more into a huge, vested-interest conglomerate and are turning their backs on very important needs of the people. Therefore, we, the Ronatarian Party, are appealing to conservatives, liberals, radicals, junkies, losers, hosers, hookers, dweebs, dorks, chumps, jocks, hackers, slackers, professionals, amateurs, midgets, Zamkoffs, women, cartoonists, side-show freaks, and all of the other people who feel they are losing their political say in this country. Ron has taken it upon himself to be the "Voice of the Disenfranchised", or...

Ron on Disabilities

The Americans With Disabilities Act is now ten years old, but it has only just begun to correct the fears that have kept people with disabilities in isolation throughout history. "Everyone knows a good Helen Keller joke," quipped Ron at Memorial Hospital in Des Moines, Iowa. Disabled people are still too often refused access to health care, transportation, school, housing, and jobs. Ron believes that all Americans should have the opportunity to learn and develop skills, make macaroni pictures with glue and paper, choose where to live, and participate in community life. Russell, a man with no arms and...