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Ron on Fair Trade

"Fair trade" is a misnomer to Ron. He thinks that the current monopoly patents are just trying to convert all sorts of natural knowledge into intellectual property. Ron is not an intellectual, so he is confused by this. All of the rest he considers corporate-managed trade. "It's a bulls--t mentality!" Ron lectured to unemployed rodeo clowns in Wyoming. "We have loggers cut down the forests to make toothpicks and bowling pins and let the future generations worry about the repercussions." Multi-national corporations are depleting our renewable resources with no plans for replenishing them. And we simply let them. The World...
Posted by Webmaster at September 25, 2000

Ron on Foreign Policy

The United States expends huge amounts of personnel and money in preparing for war. But the U.S. is not rigorously attempting to mediate current scenarios or anticipating preventable conflicts. "Preventive Diplomacy" is a slogan Ron is promoting on his ticket. Ron finds it amazing that any discussion of foreign policy is usually about current hot spots, instead of asking, "How did we get into this god-forsaken situation in the first place?" What could have been done to avoid it? Ron will hire historians to his staff so he can learn from mistakes and successes from the past. In this...
Posted by Webmaster at September 22, 2000

Ron on Gays and Lesbians

"I think fags have the right to a civil union," Ron stated to an (unarmed) NRA group in Redneck Hall in Mobile, Alabama. "I believe homosexuals should be given equal rights, equal fitted tights, and equal responsibilities" as heterosexuals in America. "...and let's not forget transsexuals, hermaphrodites, and transvestites," Ron warned the alert audience. Ron agrees wholeheartedly with the domestic decision made in Vermont and the recent international decision made in The Netherlands regarding same-sex unions. There are multiple economic and humanitarian reasons for these renderings. Same-sex partnerships should be treated as traditional opposite-sex unions both in the eyes of...
Posted by Webmaster at September 21, 2000

Ron on Gun Control

In America, you have people who are killed or injured with guns and you have people who killed them (or injured them trying). There is a difference between these two peoples: ignorance. How do you marry the two? "A shotgun wedding!" quipped Ron at a rally for NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association). Ron has a broad three-point plan to satisfy the scared (i.e. unarmed) citizens and appease the National Rifle Association (NRA). First of all, arm the entire American populace with guns. Second, license and register all gun owners (i.e. the American public). Third, turn around and...
Posted by Webmaster at September 21, 2000
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