Bullshit & Cow Pies

Jersey City, New Jersey: April 2, 2003

A New Jersey artist/inventor/politician who turned wandering cows into poets (see "Cow Poetry") wants to expand his repertoire to include cow dung wrist watches.

"Artists are always looking for new materials and I was struck by the similarities in the consistency of the manure to my paints," said Ron, a presidential candidate from his own Ronatarian Party. "I used sheep droppings at first but they were too small, so I switched to cow dung."

Ron said the idea came to him as he walked through a mound-filled March Field (Lafayette College, Easton, Pa.) ten years ago. He lets the cowpats dry out over a few weeks before sculpting, painting, or lacquering them.

He said animals fed on fresh grass produced the best pats, but other foods made for interesting varieties. "Cows fed on carrots and turnips produce a reddish dung, which looks quite different from the normal material. I tried to put some cows on a 'liquid diet,' but the Milwaukee's Best just gave them the 'Hershey Squirts.'"

His trademark clocks cost $140, and he said wrist watches and even alarm clocks may soon appear.

"They are really quite unique and lose only 7 minutes every 36 hours," he said. "My timepieces make a perfect gift for birthdays and bar mitzvahs."

Posted by Ron at April 2, 2003 11:36 PM

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