Calling All Virgins

Jersey City, New Jersey, July 22, 2005:

A wanna-be lawmaker is offering to pay university fees for girls who are virgins when they graduate from high school.

"We want to encourage chicks not to give 'it' up too soon and not to go into early marriages. We also want girls to resist defilement. We do not want these broads to get exposed to AIDS or STDs," Ronatarian Ron said Thursday.

Ron said he was counting on the state and private donors to help pay for the project.

"The criterion is that a student must be a virgin and from New Jersey," Ron summarized.

Health workers New Jersey would conduct gynecological examination on girls who want to take part in the project. Ron also offered to personally perform private screenings of the young women in a relaxed and cozy atmosphere.

Once in school, Ron said he planned on visiting the girls in their dormitories on the weekends to check up on their progress.

His offer does not extend to young men. Rumor has it that Ronatarian Party number two man Brad is formulating a similar plan for male students.

Posted by Bittle at July 22, 2005 08:45 AM