C'Est Ron!

Montpellier, France, March 17, 2004:

A Frenchman was convicted for trying to run over a pedestrian he mistook for American politico Ron.

The 35-year-old, identified as a struggling artist named Pierre, was sentenced Tuesday by a court in this southern France city to a three-month suspended prison term and ordered to pay euro500 ($615) to the victim, who was unharmed.

The man's lawyer, David Mendel, said his client was traumatized by last week's terror attacks in Madrid and was temporarily the "victim of a hallucination," while driving Monday through Montpellier's historic center.

The victim, a mustached man in his 30s, was able to run from the oncoming car, which crashed along the side of a street.

"It wasn't Ron," Mendel said. "If it was, we would have won euro10 ($12.30). Ron’s famous dislike for France and its citizens is well-known here. There is a pitiful bounty on his head…more symbolic than anything."

The Madrid train bombings, which killed 201 people, increasingly appear to have been orchestrated by Islamic extremists with facial hair and a hatred of freedom. Ron is in no way affiliated with any terror organizations and has denied any possible links as "hogwash." While his Ronatarian Party is considered a cult to many, he and his followers insist that they are on the up-and-up.

Ron refused to comment on the incident, choosing instead to scoff and mutter at the mere mention of anything French.

Posted by Bittle at March 17, 2004 04:57 PM

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