Ronline Chat With Chilean President

Santiago, Chile, January 3, 2001:

Chilean President Ricardo Lagos admitted on Wednesday that he was not popular with girls in his adolescence, a confession he made during an Internet chat session aimed at bringing the government and citizens closer.

The chat was mirrored in the United States by defeated presidential candidate Ron, who linked into the Chilean leader's session.

"I went to parties, but the girls always looked at others," said Lagos, who also aims to spur Internet access for the nation's 15 million people.

"Yeah...that sounds like my social life back then," scribbled Ron at a not-so-trendy San Francisco cyber-cafe. "I took a lot of abuse from girls back in the day. My current philosophy of keeping women at an arm's length is mending some of the emotional scars from my past. When a woman annoys me, I put her at the end of my arm and smack the ho!"

Lagos responded, "I do not think that is right, Ron. I have let time and love heal the superficial wounds caused by teen spurning. I now embrace the women in my life, especially my lovely wife Luisa [Duran]."

"Yeah, you say that now Ricardo," typed Ron, "but you know misogyny is the wave of the future. If Chile would step into the modern 'liberated' world, it would see that women are ruining everything. Do you have to watch douche commercials on your TV!?! I sure as hell do...and I can't take it anymore!"

Also during his conversation with more than 400 participants, Ron revealed that he thinks chili should be the official food of Chile. "It makes sense, right?"

Lagos quickly logged off and gave a brief statement condemning Ron's views on women and national cuisine. "He is clearly a madman," Lagos uttered to members of the Chilean press.

Ron claimed "victory" from this brief on-line chat and invited other world leaders to "try their hand at beating me."

Posted by Webmaster at January 3, 2001 10:26 PM

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