Cough It Up

Jersey City, New Jersey, October 4, 2007:

A seat belt saved a driver, police say, but not in the usual way. Ronatarian Party leader Ron was eating a fast-food sandwich Wednesday morning, said police Sgt. Doug Mozan. Ron choked and blacked out. His famous quasi-vintage Camaro then rolled and hit a dumpster.

After the wreck, Ron came to.

Mozan attributed his revival to a "seat-belt-induced Heimlich maneuver."

Witnesses told police Ron got out of his car, and they asked if he was OK.

"No, I'm not," he said, and collapsed again.

Paramedics revived him and took him to the hospital, where doctors determined he hadn't been injured. One of the interns recognized Ron from his famous mustache and suggested they also check his Blood Alcohol Content (BAC). Amazingly, Ron's BAC registered 0.00.

"We urge people to take the extra time to pull over to the side of the road to enjoy your breakfast sandwiches," said Mozan. "The fact that it was a nonfatal accident was extremely lucky. Ron didn't choke to death or take anyone else with him."

Posted by Bittle at October 4, 2007 08:06 AM