Deer Pong

Lake George, New York, November 8, 2005:

It looked like a crime scene, but no charges will be filed after Ron killed a buck with his bare hands in his running mate's bedroom.

The engagement lasted an exhausting 40 minutes, but Ron finally subdued the five-point whitetail deer that crashed through a bedroom window at a rented cabin Monday. When it was over, blood splattered the walls and the deer lay on the bedroom floor, its neck broken.

Ron, Brad, and other Ronatarian Party officials were spending some time at a retreat to plan their political futures. They had rented the cabin for a week of relaxation and political party planning discussions. They had just settled into a game of "beer pong" when they heard glass breaking. Ron went back to check on the noise and found the deer.

"I was standing about like this peeking around the corner when the deer came out of the bedroom," said Ron, demonstrating while peering around the kitchen wall. The deer ran down the hall and into Brad's bedroom -- "jumping back and forth across the bed."

"I could tell he was really tearing the place to sh*t back there," Ron said.

Ron entered the bedroom to confront the deer and, after a brief struggle, emerged to tell his stunned officials to "call the police." After returning to the bedroom, the fight continued. Ron finally was able to grip the animal and twist its neck, killing it.

"He was trying to get up a corner wall and I just came in behind him and grabbed him by the horns and just started pushing down," said Ron. "Ornery critter, that one."

Ron, sore from the struggle, dragged the dead animal out of the house.

"He got kicked several times. He was walking bowlegged for awhile," Deputy Doug Gay said.

Warren County Sheriff Keith Fagg said that when he arrived he found the deer dead in the front yard. Ron intended to have the deer processed for its meat.

Gay said that, this time of year, bucks that see their reflection in windows often charge them, believing the mirror image to be a rival.

Posted by Bittle at November 8, 2005 09:12 AM