Dog Bite

November 8, 2000 A New Jersey man who bit his dog as part of a "primal" training regime has been ordered to stand trial on felony charges of animal cruelty. Recent Presidential candidate Ron allegedly forced his 80-pound Labrador puppy "Squeaky" to the ground on two separate occasions to administer nips to the neck as part of an unorthodox discipline system. "Nothing here was cruel or hurtful," Ron's attorney, Chris Jones, told Tuesday's New Jersey Spew after a judge ordered Ron to stand trial on the charges. "My client in fact has French kissed his dog. My client is very oral." Ron ran on the Ronatarian Party ticket in 2000 and was beaten soundly in the election by all major party candidates. Witnesses described Squeaky as yelping wildly as Ron bit him on the neck. In both cases they called authorities to intercede. Ron has described the bites as part of "nature's way" of dog training by harnessing evolutionary models of pack behavior. He has denied that his bites draw blood, leave a mark, or cause pain.  "There's no hurting involved," he told one reporter. "It's communicating to the dog that you are dominant." In a Tuesday hearing a "Kangaroo Court" judge ordered Ron to return on November 21 to set a date for his trial. Squeaky, meanwhile, is being cared for by the Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Ron, who said he spent some $4,500 earlier this year on medical treatment for Squeaky after he was hit by a car, has suggested that prosecutors are barking up the wrong tree in depicting him as an animal abuser. "He was the one who finished my burritos and drank out of my water glass," Ron said of Squeaky. "I miss him constantly." When asked about also biting running-mate Brad, Ron denied all allegations and stormed out of the room.

Posted by Webmaster at November 8, 2000 10:10 PM

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