Doggie Bags

Jersey City, New Jersey: April 9, 2003

Two men who authorities say used dog feces to settle a grudge may have stepped into something themselves.

Jersey City prosecutors authorized littering charges against Ronatarian running-mates Ron and Brad. The two denied all allegations.

"We didn't do nothing!" exclaimed Ron from his party headquarters.

"I was home with Ron the entire time," said Brad.

State police from the local post say the suspects threw 40 plastic bags filled with dog feces and toilet paper on the roadway in front of another person's house. The harassed individual was not identified. No motive was given.

"These charges are ludicrous... We don't have access to that much dog poopie," said Brad.

Authorities tell a different story. "We'll wait until all the evidence comes in and this thing gets a hearing," read Sgt. Guy Fawkes in a prepared statement.

Troopers told the New Jersey Spew that the campaign began in February and extended through March.

The suspects each face a $150 fine.

Posted by Webmaster at April 9, 2003 10:13 PM

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