Dumpster Diver

Newark, New Jersey, February 5, 2008:

A man who awoke inside a garbage truck that was about to compact its load was rescued after making a frantic cell phone call to police, authorities say.

The man -- identified as Ronatarian Party presidential candidate Ron -- was scavenging for bottles Monday when he fell asleep in a dumpster, said police Lt. Mike Pousak. Ron is not a narcoleptic and police expect alcohol had a hand in this latest escapade.

Ron awoke when the container was unloaded into a truck.

He told police he didn't know which truck he was in but gave a dispatcher the location of the dumpster he fell asleep in, Pousak said.

He had tried yelling for help but no one heard him.

Police soon lost contact with Ron when his cell phone battery became dislodged, Pousak said. Police checked several trucks, including one in a parking lot.

"An officer went and pounded on the side of the truck and somebody pounded back," Pousak said.

Ron appeared to be unhurt except for a scratch on his arm and a bruised ego, Pousak said.

A similar incident happened to Ron some years back in Jersey City (see Taking Out the Garbage).

"If I was him I would go to church because today was his lucky day," the police officer said. "I think he's got a better shot at winning the lottery than the presidency."

Speculation is that the Ronatarian front man is sorely in need of funding to keep pace with the major party candidates. Recycling bottles may be Ron's ploy to raise campaign revenues and promote his enviRonmental platform.

Posted by Bittle at February 5, 2008 02:35 AM