Flame On!

Staten Island, New York, February 22, 2005:

A man barely escaped serious injury Monday after a lit cigarette he tried to toss out the window while driving across the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge blew back in and ignited the vehicle, according to the New York City Police Department.

The man -- identified as Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron -- was driving westbound at about 5:40 p.m. when he tossed the cigarette out the window of his rental car, said NYPD Officer Shawn Chase.

Carried by the wind, the cigarette landed in his back seat and almost immediately burst into flames. Ron quickly pulled to the side of the road, and leapt from the flame-filled car, which continued rolling into a guardrail, Chase said.

"He thought he had thrown it in park, but he didn't and it just kept going," the officer said. "It was in flames by the time he got out. He had some of his hair singed on the back of his head, but his mustache remained fully intact. The car burnt down to the frame. There was nothing left."

The incident forced the closure of the Lily Pond Avenue off-ramp and one lane of traffic flowing into Staten Island for about an hour.

While Chase said Ron would likely face a misdemeanor charge for littering, lawyers for the Ronatarian Party immediately released this official (generic?) statement: "No fines or charges will be levied against Ron for any reason pertaining to this unfortunate incident."

"We see people throwing cigarettes out the window all the time but never a situation like this where it comes back in," Chase said. "This guy was lucky."

Why Ron was driving a rental car (while smoking) from Brooklyn has caused some speculation amongst bloggers and conspiracy theorists who follow the goings-on of the radical Ronatarian Party. No solid clarification or "unity theory" has surfaced so far.

Posted by Bittle at February 22, 2005 10:34 AM