From A-Hole to Zebra

Jersey City, New Jersey, October 10, 2007:

Perpetual presidential candidate Ron says a zebra has been visiting his home and he almost has the photograph to prove it. Ron, who lives in a suburban Jersey City neighborhood, said his running mate Brad starting whimpering and he went outside to see what was causing the disturbance. A zebra was trotting down his driveway. It was wearing a ripped Lehigh University sweatshirt.

He ran to get his camera because he knew no one would believe him. Unfortunately, the camera was not loaded with film.

"I should have gotten my gun instead," he lamented.

"It's so f*cked up, you can't imagine what it's like to look out a [cracked] glass door and see a zebra trotting down the driveway."

Ron thinks it wasn't the first time the zebra has come around. He has found various clues, including equine feces on his doorstep.

"If I ever catch that damn thing 'round here again, I'll make zebra-burgers out of it!" he threatened. "I'll scare the stripes off it!"

Posted by Bittle at October 10, 2007 07:10 AM