Gr8 Disturbance

What happened?
By Esteban Bittlestein, August 12, 2005

Although I do not consider myself a Jedi Knight -- one wise in the ways of The Force -- I felt a great disturbance in the space-time continuum today. As Obi-Wan Kenobi famously said, it was "as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced." Why?

While recovering from my "episode," I caught wind of an unholy matrimony taking place on the West Coast of the United States. (I listen to the police scanner a lot.) Apparently, the Gr8 White N8 formed a covenant between himself and a human woman. This set me aback! Was this real? What could be gained from such a union?

When I started going over the possible repercussions of such a gigantic event my head begin to spin. To calm my jangled nerves, I began drinking tequila. When I still couldn't wrap my head around things, I switched to bourbon. When that failed to help, I grabbed a case of beer, a pack of Marlboro reds, and sat down for some serious ponderings.

I don't remember writing any of this...

Posted by Bittle at August 12, 2006 07:48 AM