Greased Pig

Easton, Pennsylvania, May 18, 2004:

Brad may have thought he gave police the slip when he switched motels. But when authorities found the man slathered head-to-toe in petroleum jelly, they knew they had their man.

Authorities said a Motel 6 cleaning crew discovered a petroleum jelly mess on mattresses, bedding, a TV set, furniture, carpeting, and towels in Brad's room after he checked out last week. Damage was put at more than $1,000.

Brad is the vice presidential candidate for the radical Ronatarian Party.

Fourteen empty petroleum jelly jars and numerous pornographic magazines were fished out of the trashcan, according to WLAF radio in Easton.

Shortly afterward, a sheriff's deputy tracked down Brad to a nearby motel, finding the New Jersey man entirely covered in the greasy ointment, authorities said.

Brad was not charged with any crime and was released on his own recognizance. He agreed to pay for the damages he incurred at the Motel 6 plus a minor indecency fine. An attempt to reach Brad by telephone Tuesday was not immediately successful. Official Ronatarian Party channels were closed to comment as well.

Posted by Bittle at May 18, 2004 01:41 PM

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