Inflatable Bittle

March 26, 2002: Jersey City, New Jersey A northern New Jersey man suspected of murder after he was seen carrying what a neighbor thought was a dead Bittle into his house was cleared after he showed police his collection of rubber sex and Bittle dolls. A police spokeswoman said Tuesday the neighbor called to say he saw the man--identified as former Ronatarian presidential candidate Ron--carrying a "corpse" into the abode. Police responding to the call found the suspect to be "surprised, ornery, and disturbed" by their questions at first. "When the officers then told Ron they were investigating a murder he showed them his newly acquired silicon Bittle doll," the spokeswoman said. "Seriously, this one's just for punching," Ron explained, "I only shag the ones that are chicks." "Ron also showed the officers four other inflatable sex dolls he owns. Apparently, he had just been testing out his new acquisition when police arrived." The spokeswoman said the police then left the apartment and closed the file . "They didn't want to disturb him any longer," the spokeswoman said. "Ron's famous temper may have aided in the decision," she added.

Posted by Webmaster at March 26, 2002 11:24 PM

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