Melons

Ashgabat, Turkmenistan, August 24, 2005:

Turkmenistan's authoritarian leader on Sunday congratulated citizens of the ex-Soviet republic on the Turkmen Melon Day he established to honor the favorite fruit of the sun-drenched Central Asian nation.

The nation currently grows 500 varieties of melon, including the Czar Melon, grown to honor President Saparmurat Niyazov, and the Golden Age, meant to symbolize prosperity under the president, the Agriculture Ministry said.

"Let the life of every Turkmen be as beautiful as our melons," Niyazov said in a statement.

"There is nothing like that in any country of the world," the state-run Neutral Turkmenistan daily said in a headline.

A disgruntled American -- New Jersey-based politico Ron -- said the name of the holiday was misleading. "I was expecting to see large-breasted women, but all I see are f*cking cantaloupes! I came a long way for nothing…this place is dirty."

Niyazov has led the former Soviet republic, a largely desert nation rich in natural gas, since 1985 as Communist Party chief. He was elected president in 1992 in the wake of the Soviet collapse, and has since created a personality cult around himself.

Niyazov's image adorns buildings across the country of 4.8 million people, and a gold statue of him in Ashgabat rotates to always face the sun. He has renamed months of the year after himself and his family.

Posted by Bittle at August 24, 2005 07:43 AM