Potty Fire!

Blacksville, West Virginia, July 19, 2004:

Warning: open flames in the toilet can be dangerous. A portable toilet exploded Sunday after a man who was inside it lit a match.

Emergency workers said the man was not severely injured and drove himself to Clay-Battelle Community Health Center. Medical records indicate that the man is none other than Ronatarian Party presidential candidate Ron.

The explosion, which occurred in Blacksville, resulted from a buildup of methane gas inside the portable toilet. The methane did not "take too kindly" to the open flame, said a spokeswoman for Monongalia Emergency Medical Services.

"Neither did Ron," said vice presidential running mate Brad. "We just came down here to stump and press flesh...and something like this happens. It's a real shame."

When asked to comment, the recently released Ron said he "was only doing what my mother taught me to do when I got 'mud-butt' [sic] and I know it's gonna be nasty and stinky. ...I was doing it for the public good."

"Ron knows about combustion and thermal mass transfer," concluded Brad. "I still don't know how this accident could have happened."

Posted by Bittle at July 19, 2004 02:55 PM

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