The Great Pumpkin Sham

Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin, November 1, 2000:

Texas Governor George W. Bush can claim at least one election victory this fall -- the great presidential pumpkin poll.

Likenesses of Republican Bush, Democrat Al Gore, Green Party candidate Ralph Nader, and Ronatarian Party hopeful Ron were carved into 500-pound pumpkins at Altenburg's Country Gardens near Wisconsin Rapids on October 7, and people who came to pick a pumpkin from the farm were asked to vote for their favorite candidate.

Owner Harold Altenburg accepted votes until 4 p.m. on Halloween.

The final tally: Bush - 704, Gore - 666, Nader - 313, and Ron - 2 he said.

Altenburg said he had fun, but was discouraged by what some people had to say about choosing between Gore and Bush.

"More people than I like to see said, 'What difference does it make?'", he noted. "Even one of the candidates commented on it."

Ronatarian Party candidate and namesake Ron declared the pumpkin vote "fixed" and "a sham". "How do I only come out with two lousy votes!?!" he said in a written statement. "The good people of Wisconsin Rapids believe in me and what I have to say...At least more than two do. They must!"

The 4-foot tall pumpkins were carved as part of a pumpkin festival and displayed on an antique manure spreader at Altenburg's farm.

Altenburg also mentioned that the Ron and Nader pumpkins had been unceremonially smashed on Mischief Night (October 30).

"I don't know what them kids was up to, but I don't like it," he said.

No link has been established between the success of the pumpkin poll and the national election results. The poll has been run since 1984. The pumpkin smashing was also touted as a non-issue.

"That's a relief," said Nader spokesman Hugh Jass.

"Whew!" one of the two local Ron supporters gasped. "I thought Bush plum won the real thing. We love Ron and his purty mustache."

Posted by Webmaster at November 1, 2000 10:28 PM

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