Ribbon Cutting

Jersey City, New Jersey: September 9, 2003

The Chamber of Commerce has held a ribbon-cutting ceremony for an unusual structure - a toilet.

The Ronatarian Party came dangerously close to losing its headquarters because it lacked two restrooms, as required by Jersey City zoning codes. One code states that "any...former residence being used as a brothel, political headquarters, bingo hall, or other similar function shall have two separate commodes to service the masses' asses."

Party founder and leader Ron said he didn't think to check with the city about its zoning rules when he hastily named a run-down home as his headquarters in 2000. After years of battles, he raised enough money to add a new restroom to the old house he also calls home.

The Jersey City Chamber of Commerce decided to celebrate the accomplishment by holding a ribbon-cutting in front of the restroom Monday.

"We're having fun. I think what's unique and nice about it... is that we can make light of what's happened in the past," Chamber president Tom Hastings said. "The Ronatarians were able to work out an agreement with the city... which shows that things work out as long as you work together."

Ron was happy with the resolution of the issue...and his new bidet.

"Finally we can get back to some real politicking."

Posted by Webmaster at November 9, 2003 10:18 PM

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