Ron's Hard About Lemonade

Sacramento, California, August 21, 2007:

California regulators voted last Tuesday to raise taxes on "alcopops" -- flavored alcoholic beverages some say are packaged to appeal to youth and contribute to underage drinking.

Maine has already made such a move, and other states are likely to follow, said Michael Scippa, advocacy director for The Marin Institute, a watchdog group.

If Ronatarian Party presidential candidate Ron can help it, New Jersey won't be on that list.

"It's preposterous to consider taxing these beverages," said Ron to a throng of sunbathers on Long Beach Island, New Jersey. "I mean, why make women pay more for the girly drinks that make them horny and attracted to us men? It doesn't make any sense."

The California State Board of Equalization voted 3-2 to tax brands such as Mike's Hard Lemonade and Zima as distilled spirits rather than as beer, which has a lower tax rate.

The vote triggers a series of public hearings on how to implement the decision. The classification change will increase the tax from 20 cents per gallon to $3.30 per gallon starting in July 2008, if the board can get the regulations in place by then.

Tax board chairwoman Betty Yee said she accepted the appeals from youth groups and an alcohol industry watchdog group that argued the beverages are flavored, packaged and marketed to appeal to young people.

"I think the overarching policy concern here was this is one element in dealing with underage drinking," Yee said in a telephone interview after the vote.

The packaging and marketing are designed to "make it look like you're drinking something hip," she said.

Scippa called the flavored beverages "cocktails on training wheels. They bridge the gap between soda pop and alcoholic drinks because they don't taste like alcohol."

"Betty Yee and Mike Scippa don't know [anything]!" shouted Ron. "They're just tryin' to stop our fun. I say, 'No way!'"

Gary Galanis, a vice president of Diageo North America, one of the world's largest alcohol manufacturers and the maker of Smirnoff, said raising the tax on flavored drinks won't deter underage drinking.

"It's access. It's about how kids get alcohol in their hands. This will do nothing to address that issue," Galanis said after the vote. "Using an emotional issue to help drive a tax discussion is just wrong."

The higher tax rate would bring the state an estimated extra $30 million to $40 million a year if consumption remains the same, said tax board spokeswoman Anita Gore.

But Galanis said the higher cost will hurt retailers, restaurateurs and legal drinkers and cut consumption to the point there will be likely no net tax gain.

Tax board member Bill Leonard said that he opposed the decision because the drinks have roughly the same alcohol content as beer, and that there is no chemical difference between alcohol in distilled and malt beverages.

It makes no economic sense for manufacturers and distributors to target teenagers who can't legally buy the drinks, he said. If higher prices do deter them, he argued, they will simply switch to beer and wine.

Marc Sorini, lead attorney for six companies that produce about 75 percent of flavored malt beverages, said it is too soon to know whether the industry will sue to block the tax change.

"We've consulted with Ron on this issue," said Sorini. "And while he frightens us, he has the passion and the political connections to put up one hell of a fight. That man loves his liquor and has vowed to do everything in his power to stop these oppressive taxes."

Posted by Bittle at August 21, 2007 04:12 PM