Ronsketball

November 2, 2000 As a rabble-rousing, damn-the-corporations candidate for president, Ron knows how to throw heat. Unfortunately for Ron, he left his best stuff on the campaign trail when he stepped on the mound at New York's Shea Stadium in July and pitched batting practice to the Mets for five minutes. One of Ron's tosses nailed Mets' utility man Joe McEwing in the hip. McEwing responded by hitting one of Ron's pitches back up the middle, nearly punishing Ron, who failed to hide behind the screen. "That all you got, 'Joe Schmo'?" Ron asked, laughing.   "You gonna take back that comment about a tax-rate hike?" Then, McEwing rushed the mound and a fracas ensued. Luckily, Brad was present and he and Mets player Benny Agbayani were able to separate the two. The incident showed how competitive Ron can be both on the sports field and in the political arena. Actually, two out of the four major party candidates for President have histories in athletic endeavors. Fortunately, the two on the losing end are Vice President Al Gore and Green Party hopeful Ralph Nader...not Ron. If Gore succeeds in reinventing himself as a Regular Guy, it won't be through sports. His time in the pits at the Indy 500 was a rare instance of trying to relate to voters through one of the nation's favorite motor sport events. Unlike Republican candidate George W. Bush, Gore has tied his image to sports in only the most superficial ways. When he has used sports references as a tool, they have often come off as forced. To wit: After holding off Bill Bradley in a tough Democratic primary in New Hampshire in February, the vice president -- fighting the perception of being a beltway insider rather than true Tennessee folk -- compared the Titans' defeat in the NFL title game to early exit poll results.  "During the day, some people thought this might be like the Super Bowl and we were a yard short," he said at the time. "Well, this Tennessean is in the end zone, and it feels great!" Ironically, Gore might have been a better athlete than Bush and Ron. Like Bush, who played briefly on the Yale University freshman baseball team, Gore's career as an athlete ended after his first year in college. He made the freshman basketball team at Harvard, but he sat at the end of the bench and got into games only when they became blowouts. Nader once tried out for the fencing team at Princeton, but was cut after three practices due to his "aversion to pointy things", said former Tigers' fencing coach Dick Hertz. Bush, by contrast, was best known in his New England prep school as head cheerleader. "George used to get into that pleated skirt and wave those pom-poms like nobody else," said former friend Bryce "Tripp" Weatherspoon III. "He just loved being the center of attention. He was above the game on the field sometimes." Ron made his mark on the athletic world first at Lafayette College and then at rival Lehigh University. The famed rivalry between the two schools got the best of Ron for six years. While doing his undergraduate work at Lafayette, Ron was ceremoniously beaten before each Lafayette-Lehigh game by Lehigh students bent on victory. When Ron went on to graduate school at Lehigh, he was ritualistically mauled by Lafayette co-eds for 2 years before the big game. Both sides claimed it would bring their squad good luck.  "I wouldn't trade it for the world," he once said in fond memory. While Ron often dabbles with street racing his Camaro for pink slips, he now just uses sport as a stress relief and to stay in shape. His favorite activities are bear baiting and curling. Oddly, Nader is deep into the curling culture as well, but only as a spectator.  "I just love the thrill of the competition," Nader once said. "Just being in the presence of such great athletes puts me in awe." To his credit, Gore isn't tone-deaf to the politics of sports. In September, when Oprah Winfrey asked for his favorite childhood memory, Gore said, "Playing baseball with my dad," an answer that melted the talk-show host's largely female audience. He had effectively stolen the punch line from Bush, who when asked the same question by Oprah later in the month said his favorite memory was playing Little League ball in Midland, Texas.  When Ron was asked the same question by Star Jones, he retorted, "Hey, you aren't Oprah Winfrey! You are f--king huge! Where's Oprah, God damnit!?!" Nader has declined comment on his sports past. "It has no relevance here," he said to MTV's Kurt Loder. Gore was the object of a punch line during the Tennessee Titans' preseason game with the St. Louis Rams on Monday Night Football when Dennis Miller cracked, "You know Al Gore is watching because not only is the game in his hometown but the Rams are the only team in football that shifts positions as frequently as he does." Ah, that staple shared by politics and sports, the cheap shot.

Posted by Webmaster at November 2, 2000 10:24 PM

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