The Sky Is Falling!

Long Island, New York: June 17, 2003 A Jersey City, New Jersey man won a suit against American Airlines alleging that one of the company's planes released two chunks of toilet waste, known euphemistically as "blue ice," onto the windshield of his car. After the chunks came crashing down and damaged his vehicle, third party presidential candidate Ron (Ronatarian Party) tracked down the plane - American Airlines Flight 1994 - and sued in small claims court. He received the court's ruling in the mail Friday. A judge ordered the airline to pay him $236 - almost the entire amount Ron had sought to purchase and replace the shattered windshield. Mike Fergus, a spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration, was surprised at the decision. "I'll be darned," said Fergus, who hadn't heard of any similar suits succeeding before. The airline has 30 days to appeal the ruling. Airline officials could not be reached to comment Saturday. Ron was overheard at a bar at happy hour saying, "Sh*t happens, you know? ...This time it happened to my f*cking windshield."

Posted by Webmaster at June 17, 2003 10:48 PM

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