The Corridors of Power Hour

Trenton, New Jersey, May 24, 2006:

New Jersey legislators and staff members should not be drunk while performing their official duties, a citizen panel says.

The Public Commission on the New Jersey Legislature adopted that recommendation Tuesday; although the panel decided to leave it to House and Senate leaders to draft rules against intoxication and possible penalties.

"We were uncomfortable acting as a nanny," said Kerry Teetotaler, a commission member and conservative pundit.

The new policy was suggested by Steve Downs, president of Crime Victims United, who said he and another member of the group noticed alcohol on the breath of at least one legislator at the end of the 2005 session while they were advocating tougher drunken-driving penalties.

Downs declined to identify the legislator.

Fighting the proposal is the radical Ronatarian Party. The Ronatarians believe that drinking alcohol on taxpayers' time is perfectly legitimate. In fact, it should be encouraged.

"Do you realize how dull committee meetings are?" asked Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron. "Lawmakers should be allowed to 'take the edge off' from time to time. Plus, you always get your best ideas when you're buzzed. What Downs and his cronies want is preposterous! They're stifling creativity!"

Neither Senate nor House rules deal with possession or consumption of alcohol by legislators and staff members. Alcohol is barred from most state buildings, but it can be served at State House functions with written approval of the legislative administrator and under certain conditions.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," concluded Ron.

Posted by Bittle at May 24, 2006 07:10 AM