The French Stink:

The French Stink

Paris, France, December 13, 2004:

It's official: The French government has officially declared Gallic body odor a "national treasure."

"We're as excited as skunks in an outhouse," says French historian Jean-Pierre LeCoq. "We are proud of our offensive odor. It's way overdue that along with the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame Cathedral French body aroma is taking its rightful place as one of our country's most important assets."

Ronatarian Party leader Ron -- a noted spokesman against France and the French -- said he was disgusted by the declaration. "Why the f*cking French need to exult in their stench is beyond me," he said to a throng of domestic and international media reporters. "God, I hate them."

Fabian Beauchamp, 59, has lived in Paris all his life. "France is the most beautiful country in the world," he says. "I stroll along the Champs Elysees and smell the fragrant onions and garlic on the croissants of passersby, combined with the smell that wafts from beneath their arms. To me that is pure heaven. I am alive in France. I stink, therefore I am."

Deodorant salespersons and manufacturers are up to their armpits in grief. "It's not fair," one of them laments. "We came to France to freshen up the stinking masses, but now they pass this national treasure crap. It ain't fair. Worshiping B.O. stinks and so do the French."

Ron could only shake his head in disgust. "See? See what I mean, man? ...Right now, the French are killing our deodorant futures here in the States. Companies base their future earnings on projected deodorant use here and abroad. This can't be helping their stock values."

Wall Street remained unaffected.

Posted by Bittle at December 13, 2004 02:06 PM

Comments

The French used to stink, old French still do.
But the young generation, from 0 to 40 years old, never stink.
Quoting Beauchamp is like if you quoted Hitler to represent the germans, not very clever.

Posted by: Pierce at October 12, 2005 09:40 AM

Look, I'm French and as far as I can tell, we are clean and we don't stink at all! Oh, and women do shave!!

Posted by: Moi at June 22, 2006 11:44 PM

No...you stink. Smell again.

Posted by: Franz Spitzer at June 23, 2006 08:08 AM

I am really amazed people have enough time to waste to listen to such stupidities... What is up with you assholes?

Posted by: at August 10, 2007 07:01 PM

It's just too much fun to see how you Frenchies respond to being told you stink. Which you do. Only your arrogance keeps you from smelling yourself!

Posted by: Stockyardman at November 8, 2007 02:54 PM

"The French used to stink, old French still do.
But the young generation, from 0 to 40 years old, never stink."

I heard that too.
But when I went to visit Schloss Linderhof in Germany, the tours were broken down into "English" and "German".

A group of French students joined us in the "English" group and the glass doors of the foyer were shut. The French students looked like they could have been American students: 70's bell-bottoms, thick-soled sneakers, some piercings, etc.

As the guide began to speak, I noticed an "odeur" begin to permeate my nostrils; like 4-day-old B.O. Oh, it got worse! I've never experienced this sensation before but I felt like I couldn't draw a breath - I almost paniced, it was so bad!

I looked at my friends; she was smiling, holding her nose & her hubby was smiling. Her 6 year old boy, also holding his nose, exclaimed, "Pew-w-w!"

The students, completely unaware anything was wrong, all looked at him...and us!

Ah, out of the mouths of babes...!

Posted by: Alex O'Berra at July 7, 2008 02:20 PM

if it wasnt for us you would be speaking german!!!
vor morlsen hort

Posted by: blake koppel at November 25, 2008 09:05 AM

we french dont stink , we wash , we bath and shower everyday , and oh we also use water to clean up our derriere when we shit ...which i dont think american do ...they are so many cliche about american in france but we dont have time to waste with this nonsense ...ameriacns u gyes think ur are the most perfect poeple in the world but ur not and u dont even know the world , u dont even know where id the location of africa or japan ...one advice from me , u shd open ur poeple up to the world ...

Posted by: ness at December 31, 2008 04:47 PM

I think certain French persons stink...like my ex-husband Nicolas Sarkozy. I could still smell Anne Fulda on his body when he came home at night. He would refuse to wash off her scent for days. What a cad!

Posted by: Cécilia Ciganer-Albéniz at January 5, 2009 09:15 AM

I thought for a while I was reading 'The Onion' ;-)
[ www.theonion.com ]

And this is for my fellow compatriots:
He, les gars, i-ro-nie...
Ne prenez pas tout au premier degre

Posted by: Asvald at July 9, 2009 03:56 PM

We have a french family staying with us for a week and THEY STINK bad and NO the woman DOES NOT shave............

Posted by: Candie at July 19, 2010 10:56 AM

The French Stink

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