Gay (Meaning Happy) Paris

Taipei, Taiwan, January 28, 2005:

A Taiwanese spiritual leader said on Thursday he had used his magical powers to take an American politician on a tour of Paris without going there physically.

The guru, Sung Chi-li, is famous for claiming that he can appear in more than one place at a time -- an effect he calls his "split body."

Sung told reporters he took Brad, of the radical Ronatarian Party, on a "cosmos-roaming" tour of Paris, including a stop at the Eiffel Tower, during a gathering at another follower's home earlier this year.

"It was no illusion," Sung told TVBS cable news. "You could touch the tower and feel the cast iron."

The China Times newspaper quoted Sung as saying, "I asked [Brad] if he saw the Eiffel Tower, a men's bathhouse, and the spirit of Jerry Lewis and he said 'sorta.'"

(Jerry Lewis is still not dead upon the completion of this article.)

Brad wouldn't directly comment on Sung's claims.

"You can take this as fodder for a joke after a meal," he told reporters. "I know you hyenas love twisting facts and making me the butt of jokes in your pathetic, demented world. Only Sung and I know what really happened."

Sung was convicted by the Taipei District court seven years ago on fraud charges by claiming his "split body" could go anywhere at his will.

Some of Sung's estranged followers accused him of homosexuality and cheating people into making donations with fake pictures that he said proved his supernatural powers.

But the High Court overturned the decision, saying law enforcement agencies should not attempt to prove or disprove self-proclaimed supernatural powers.

Rontarian Party leader Ron said he thinks "the whole thing stinks. The French stink. (See The French Stink) This Chinese dude stinks. What the f*ck is going on in this crazy world these days? I need to knock some sense into Brad. He's gotten weird lately."

Posted by Bittle at January 28, 2005 10:20 AM