Gay (Meaning Happy) Paris:

Gay (Meaning Happy) Paris

Taipei, Taiwan, January 28, 2005:

A Taiwanese spiritual leader said on Thursday he had used his magical powers to take an American politician on a tour of Paris without going there physically.

The guru, Sung Chi-li, is famous for claiming that he can appear in more than one place at a time -- an effect he calls his "split body."

Sung told reporters he took Brad, of the radical Ronatarian Party, on a "cosmos-roaming" tour of Paris, including a stop at the Eiffel Tower, during a gathering at another follower's home earlier this year.

"It was no illusion," Sung told TVBS cable news. "You could touch the tower and feel the cast iron."

The China Times newspaper quoted Sung as saying, "I asked [Brad] if he saw the Eiffel Tower, a men's bathhouse, and the spirit of Jerry Lewis and he said 'sorta.'"

(Jerry Lewis is still not dead upon the completion of this article.)

Brad wouldn't directly comment on Sung's claims.

"You can take this as fodder for a joke after a meal," he told reporters. "I know you hyenas love twisting facts and making me the butt of jokes in your pathetic, demented world. Only Sung and I know what really happened."

Sung was convicted by the Taipei District court seven years ago on fraud charges by claiming his "split body" could go anywhere at his will.

Some of Sung's estranged followers accused him of homosexuality and cheating people into making donations with fake pictures that he said proved his supernatural powers.

But the High Court overturned the decision, saying law enforcement agencies should not attempt to prove or disprove self-proclaimed supernatural powers.

Rontarian Party leader Ron said he thinks "the whole thing stinks. The French stink. (See The French Stink) This Chinese dude stinks. What the f*ck is going on in this crazy world these days? I need to knock some sense into Brad. He's gotten weird lately."

Posted by Bittle at January 28, 2005 10:20 AM

Comments

I was at the bathhouse just last week having a white wine and some croissants when suddenly before me appeared an apparition of beauty. He was wearing what appeared to be an old woman's lingerie and he was accompanied by a...how do you say? "gros gar�on chinois". Is this the man of whom you speak?

Posted by: homme gai � Paris at January 30, 2005 03:45 AM

I discovered a letter from Gustave Eiffel to the French Civil Engineering Society (dated 1885). In it, Eiffel wrote that he planned to use tension among the construction elements in his tower as a counterbalance to wind loads. In light of that find, I developed an equation whose solutions yielded a figure in the true shape of the Eiffel Tower. I also found out that the French Civil Engineering Society--to this day--likes small boys.

Posted by: N8 at February 3, 2005 02:50 PM

I would just like to know why it is that all of you who do not like small boys -- always find it in your hearts to ridicule those of us who do? Try to see it from our side once in a while!

Posted by: Pamplemousse at February 4, 2005 11:36 PM

Gay (Meaning Happy) Paris

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